THE MAIN CHARACTER, Week 4: The 'Dabo Swinney without' meme - Each weekend in college football, there is one main character. The goal is to never be it.
Welcome to the weekly college football wrapup that recognizes this sport is about nothing but feelings, primarily about enjoying the bad ones suffered by people besides you.
It’s nothing but feelings, all the way down. Made-up polls determine which teams get the most attention and best postseason invites. Friendship clubs founded 100 years ago determine which teams get to call themselves “powers.” Recruiting is about the feelings of 17-year-old boys, and even head coaches can vanish because some booster gifted the wrong color BMW.
So the college football internet is a potent stew. One does not watch one’s team win and then log off. No. One must maximize the advantage, storming rivals whose teams did not win, because the actually impactful Feelings Market never stops fluctuating. And if one’s team loses, there’s always punching down on somebody who had a worse weekend. Almost always.
Each day on twitter there is one main character. The goal is to never be it
— maple cocaine (@maplecocaine) January 3, 2019
Stream live college football games every week this season from conferences across the country on ESPN+.
Let’s see which of this week’s cast members earned MAIN CHARACTER honors. The options continue to be extensive, as college football’s comeback season has been a real mess outside of the top couple teams.
Another wild Saturday around college football, with 6 more AP ranked teams losing today.
In total, 25 AP ranked teams have lost this season, the most through the first 4 weeks of a season in the Poll Era (since 1936). pic.twitter.com/Dlq63ESmos
— ESPN Stats & Info (@ESPNStatsInfo) September 26, 2021
Vanderbilt
It takes a lot for a really bad team to draw attention, let alone earn Main Character consideration. Yet in Saturday’s early window, fans far and wide were captivated by a team that’s just here to cash SEC checks.
The Georgia Points vs. Vanderbilt Yards competition is gonna be FIERCE
— Ryan Nanni (@celebrityhottub) September 25, 2021
Three hours later, the Commodores emerged with a narrow victory …
never. told. a. joke. https://t.co/uvoSJES7FA pic.twitter.com/eqAyYtFV1U
— Inaam (@shinsaki) September 25, 2021
… but I believe they proved their point.
A Vandy fan starts an “OVERRATED“ chant after Georgia is held to a field goal up 55-0
— Steven Godfrey (@38Godfrey) September 25, 2021
The weekly list of top teams who looked kinda bad
Just gonna include this section every week, if 2021 continues this behavior.
No. 3 Oregon posted a satisfactory final score against the Pac-12’s worst team, but is surely grateful most voters had already gone to bed.
You'd never know it, but this was a 5-pt game in 4Q. pic.twitter.com/HQWp3mMa3s
— RedditCFB (@RedditCFB) September 26, 2021
Remember how we all spent years enjoying No. 4 Oklahoma’s total lack of defense? Not so funny now that we have to watch the opposite, huh?
Tonight is Oklahoma's lowest-scoring regulation game in Lincoln Riley's tenure. The previous low: Last week.
— Matt Hinton (@MattRHinton) September 26, 2021
Colorado State — which lost to FCS South Dakota State and Vanderbilt, this week’s Team That Is In This Post Because It’s Even Worse Than Anyone Realized — played No. 5 Iowa basically even for 50 minutes or so.
It’s been a while since it’s been this hard to figure out if anyone in college football is good. The #5 team in the AP Poll is flirting with a Week 4 transitive L to a team that lost 62-0 today. Outstanding sport
— Alex Kirshner (@alex_kirshner) September 25, 2021
No. 15 BYU goofed around with USF until the final minutes, but unless I’m missing something, USF fans are much happier about it than BYU fans are angry about it.
The same cannot be said of No. 19 Michigan fans, who watched their team get outgained by a team that’s pretty good, but is still named Rutgers.
Michigan beats Rutgers, 20-13. Nothing about the game was even remotely enjoyable and I hate myself for being completely dialed in to every single snap of the game.
Can't wait to do it all again next Saturday. Go Blue.
— Scott Bell (@sbell021) September 25, 2021
Nebraska produced roughly twice as much stuff in every offensive category as No. 20 Michigan State did. Except points. The Spartans produced more of those.
Me, a dummy of little faith: guys I don't think Nebraska-MSU belongs in the Sickos Watchlist
Nebraska: here's a former MSU student video analyst shanking a 7-yard punt ;)
MSU: here's a bad snap on the last play of the half =)— Sickos Committee (@SickosCommittee) September 26, 2021
My only note on No. 23 Auburn winning by a deceptively large 10-point margin against Georgia State is that, while in downtown Birmingham all afternoon, I overheard three strangers claim in separate conversations that Auburn had lost. I still don’t think that was inaccurate.
This is the year. Ga St’s fullback is focused, he’s having fun. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was a dark horse for the Heisman.
— Darcie (@wardamndarcie) September 25, 2021
Basically:
this college football Saturday has been so fun that I almost forgot Alabama exists.
— Rodger Sherman (@rodger) September 26, 2021
Iowa State
Internet forensic report: On Saturday, most neutral parties agreed Cyclones head coach Matt Campbell should’ve left for a bigger job before this season, one in which his team has lost to Iowa again and now to unranked Baylor.
USC
After the Trojans fired Clay Helton, comedy-minded onlookers had been hoping the team’s interim coach (might be Clay Helton again, but who knows) would finish undefeated and force them to reckon with the same choice as always: Keep the really USC guy or go find somebody new for once?
Well, at least part of that is way off the table, now that Oregon State won at USC for the first time since Muhammad Ali was still an amateur boxer.
— no context college football (@nocontextcfb) September 26, 2021
This is probably the emptiest I’ve seen the Coliseum at the start of the fourth quarter. pic.twitter.com/QK02wvtNxp
— Arash Markazi (@ArashMarkazi) September 26, 2021
North Carolina
Georgia Tech beat UNC by 23, largely due to recovering all three of the game’s fumbles, then turning them into 17 pretty easy points. Ok, but still … by 23?
That UNC/GT score is a psyop
— BUM CHILLUPS AKA SPENCER HALL (@edsbs) September 26, 2021
Many strange things are happening in the ACC. But the ACC is always like this, even if a couple teams have covered that up for most of the last 34 years. We’ll get to both of them shortly.
Tobacco Road this weekend: pic.twitter.com/ae74U5Uboo
— RedditCFB (@RedditCFB) September 26, 2021
WAKE FOREST AND BOSTON COLLEGE OR BUST https://t.co/DMPPvbXIQZ pic.twitter.com/WRfatQ5Sly
— Sickos Committee (@SickosCommittee) September 26, 2021
Ohio State
Defeated Akron, but not without some excitement that threatened to ripple far beyond just Columbus.
This is about an Ohio State linebacker, but I want you to imagine this as being about the literal pope and then read through https://t.co/Q9k5cgMQOG
— Alex Kirshner (@alex_kirshner) September 26, 2021
What a tremendous chyron pic.twitter.com/LrVyPgvLyU
— Jeff Svoboda (@JeffSvoboda) September 26, 2021
Minnesota
After Vanderbilt demonstrated one way a really bad team can seduce eyeballs, even-worse team Bowling Green found another.
The Falcons had won all of six FBS games since the end of the 2016 season and hadn’t beaten a Power 5 opponent in almost exactly six years. It gets wilder, because Minnesota entered Saturday with the country’s longest non-conference winning streak, mostly gained by playing teams such as Bowling Green.
Bowling Green defeated Minnesota 14-10 today.
The Golden Gophers were favored by 30.5 points, tying the largest upset between two FBS programs since Texas State defeated Houston (-35) in 2012. pic.twitter.com/LqC4J7sKAl
— ESPN Stats & Info (@ESPNStatsInfo) September 25, 2021
Bowling Green goes to Minnesota, gets $1.45 million guarantee — and 14-10 victory
— Steve Berkowitz (@ByBerkowitz) September 25, 2021
Foreground: #Gophers fans expecting a nice and easy non-conference win
Background: PJ Fleck's game plan pic.twitter.com/YZAqMkDKAk
— Dan Owen (@DanOwenMN) September 25, 2021
Last week: oh no, PJ Fleck is going to go coach USC.
This week: oh no, PJ Fleck is going to lose his job.— AutumnJer (@AverageJer) September 25, 2021
The Bowling Green Cheerleaders were flexing on the Minnesota logo after their upset win. We love this so much. Celebrate Bowling Green! pic.twitter.com/hWD0b6nPdV
— Sickos Committee (@SickosCommittee) September 25, 2021
Florida State
A weekly fixture in this column until … honestly, I dunno if even winning a game or two would get the Noles out of this column.
This time around, they lost to Louisville at home. Mike Norvell now needs to finish 6-2 in order to equal the record that got Willie Taggart fired as FSU head coach.
FSU is 0-4. They still have Clemson, Florida, UNC, Miami, NC State and BC on the schedule.
— CanesInSight (@CanesInSight) September 25, 2021
Texas A&M
The Aggies paid Jimbo Fisher one hundred gazillion guaranteed dollars in order to get them over the Alabama hump. That has not happened, and they are now buried beneath the Arkansas hump.
DEFINITELY GON WOMP pic.twitter.com/kvPsOqqbsT
— Arkansas Razorback Football (@RazorbackFB) September 25, 2021
season's not over, aggies. the goal of covering against bama is still in play.
— bomani (@bomani_jones) September 25, 2021
Listen, Jimbo's got another 9 years to figure this out.
— Ralph D. Russo (@ralphDrussoAP) September 25, 2021
I'd like to present the new map of the United States after Arkansas' wins over Texas and Texas A&M. pic.twitter.com/HV398HcaxC
— Rodger Sherman (@rodger) September 25, 2021
Hey #Big12, are you done expanding? If not, #TexasAM would like back in. #GigEm pic.twitter.com/4HZxc4TzTt
— Message Board Geniuses (@BoardGeniuses) September 25, 2021
Clemson v. Texas A&M in the Peach Bowl, first point wins.
— RedditCFB (@RedditCFB) September 25, 2021
THE MAIN CHARACTER: Dabo Swinney
Speaking of Clemson! The Tigers lost to NC State, are essentially out of the College Football Playoff for the first time since 2014, and might have another loss or two on the schedule.
They’ve also inspired maybe the most ruthless meme party I’ve seen so far this season. I dunno which one of these hit hardest, but the last one is the most spine-tingling.
Dabo Swinney without a generational QB under center. pic.twitter.com/JEbnUX1fqH
— Kip Smithers (@Chughes612) September 25, 2021
Dabo without Watson/Lawrence pic.twitter.com/ZGYWSxVyrV
— Zachary Smith (@ZacharySmith412) September 25, 2021
Dabo without Trevor Lawrence pic.twitter.com/snCmaQe5Au
— Nolan (@shawnmarionsJ) September 25, 2021
Dabo without a elite QB to bail him out pic.twitter.com/ZDK8ceoOF5
— (@_Ace5am) September 25, 2021
Dabo without Trevor Lawrence pic.twitter.com/ZAVvkSsU2k
— Mark (@MLaw_1) September 25, 2021
Dabo without an all American QB: pic.twitter.com/ORkVCukMpc
— Mikey (@MikeSanchize) September 25, 2021
Dabo Swinney without generational QBs pic.twitter.com/Ok7a2rEZcH
— 18x National Champions (@TideSZN) September 25, 2021
Dabo Swinney without a generational QB: pic.twitter.com/ZTHeyCkgcv
— Zach Thee Freshley (@Z_Fresh7) September 26, 2021
Dabo Swinney without a top 5 NFL Draft prospect: pic.twitter.com/wfHpCf2MlB
— ????????????????????ℝ (@MVP_Xman) September 5, 2021
Previously in THE MAIN CHARACTER
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