Gareth Southgate won’t care about England vs Australia score – Socceroos are Three Lions’ latest faceless opponent
HAS it ever struck you as odd that football fans moan when their favourite players aren’t picked by England and then cry when they are?
Arsenal, Chelsea and West Ham supporters have been demanding to know what more Ben White, Raheem Sterling and James Ward-Prowse need to do to get called up by Gareth Southgate.
But they’ll also be complaining if he selects Declan Rice, Conor Gallagher or Jarrod Bowen against Australia on Saturday.
Just about everyone agrees international friendlies are a waste of time and effort yet they will still be putting up the ‘Sold Out’ signs at Wembley.
Millions more will tune in to watch on Channel 4, largely because the BBC are offering Gardeners’ World or a repeat of Mrs Brown’s Boys (a repeat! It wasn’t funny the first time).
Yet not even Southgate will really care about tonight’s result because it’s just a warm-up for next week’s Euro 2024 qualifier against Italy.
And if we’re being completely honest, not many of us will be bothered about that result because England are already as good as qualified for next year’s championships.
The inconvenient truth is international football is a pain in the backside until it gets to the knockout rounds of tournaments.
Southgate obviously won’t agree with that because he needs every opportunity he can get to work with his players.
But England have won their last ten friendlies and not lost a World Cup or Euro qualifier since 2009.
And even in the week we play Afghanistan at cricket and Fiji at rugby, taking on Australia at football is still the biggest sporting mismatch. There is absolutely no jeopardy involved in these matches and we’d all much rather be watching our clubs competing in the Premier League this weekend.
But just two months into the season and we’re already on its second international break.
And the really good news is there’s another one next month for two more walkovers against Malta and North Macedonia.
Australia are the latest in a long line of faceless opponents.
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Most of us wouldn’t recognise a ‘Socceroo’ if he hopped past us on Wembley Way.
In recent years we’ve been treated to the delights of Ivory Coast, Austria, USA, Costa Rica and Nigeria pitching up for Wembley friendlies that have generated all the passion of a dirty weekend with Ann Widdecombe.
So how long will it take for the paper planes to float down from the top tier or the first Mexican wave to break out among bored supporters wondering why they have paid a small fortune to generate their own entertainment?
The reality is Southgate will learn more about his squad players from this week’s training sessions at St George’s Park than from anything he’ll see tonight.
Winning a first cap will mean the world to Eddie Nketiah and Levi Colwill if they get a runout.
So let’s hope they aren’t jettisoned quite as quickly as Lewis Cook, Jack Cork, Aaron Cresswell, Ben Godfrey, Alex McCarthy, Kyle Walker-Peters, Nathan Redmond and Tyrick Mitchell, who were all called into friendly action by Southgate and then disappeared without trace.
But no Prem player born in England should abandon hope of a call-up just yet because the FA have pencilled in four more friendlies in March and June.
And who can’t wait for those?
REFS IN TANGLED WEBB
WHAT exactly is refs’ chief Howard Webb hoping to achieve with Match Officials Mic’d Up?
Because we really don’t want to hear him and Michael Owen telling us how VAR has f****d up.
We’re already well aware of the wrong calls the Premier League’s elite officials have made this season.
Replaying those errors with a running commentary from Stockley Park is just going to p**s us off even more.
So maybe Webb should stay silent if the best he can come up with is “Yes, we’re useless, but at least we’re honest about it”.
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YORK midfielder Daniel Batty is now my new favourite footballer following his epic s**thousery in their 2-1 National League victory at Dagenham last week.
With the Minstermen leading in the 98th minute, the savvy 25-year-old guaranteed them all three points when he launched a free-kick over the main stand and into the car park.
Game management at its very finest.
WAYNE’S WAGATHA AND WAG
GOOD luck to Wayne Rooney in his new job at Birmingham, where owner Tom Wagner measures his managers by their profile rather than their results.
That’s probably good news for Wazza after his DC United team finished ninth in the MLS’ Eastern Conference this season.
And one date we’re sure he’s already pencilled into his diary is December 16 — when Jamie Vardy comes calling with Leicester to St Andrew’s.
Wagatha Christie round 12. Can’t wait.