Power rankings: Twins walk-up music in 2016

We’re more than a week into the MLB season. The Twins have played six road games and their home opener. They have as many major league victories this season as every high school baseball team in the state. They killed rallies in consecutive innings yesterday by first failing to score a run after getting first and third with one out and then bunting into a double play.

Ladies and gentlemen, your 2016 Twins.

Today, though, is a reprieve. It’s an off day — a chance for players to get their minds right (and, hopefully for the sake of the Twins and their fans, their bats, gloves and arms right as well).

Allow yourself a mini-vacation from worrying about all the troubling things that have added up to an 0-7 record as I venture into an area where you can be a winner simply by walking to the plate, no matter what happens.

Yes, let’s talk about the 2016 Twins’ walk-up music. P.R. maven Dustin Morse tweeted the full list of players’ selections for 2016 on Monday. Here is the full list of 14 (including Danny Santana, now on the DL), from bottom to top:

14 Oswaldo Arcia (La Gringa, Silvestre Dangond, start at :23): Sorry, O’do. This song doesn’t make me want to swing the bat. It makes me the exact opposite of calm. I’m glad you like it.

13 Brian Dozier (Jugg, Fetty Wap, start at :12): Is this a Saturday Night Live parody of a rap song? It’s not? Oh.

12 Joe Mauer (What You Know, T.I., start at beginning): I actually like this song. I’m just tired of this song. I bet I’ve heard the start of this song more than 1,000 times because of Mauer. I bet he has it as his wake-up alarm ringtone. I bet when he’s 80, he’ll still listen to this song every day.

11 Eddie Rosario (Blin Blin, Don Omar, start at :39): I can see how this would get Eddie ready to hit, I just don’t like the beat. Personal taste more than anything.

10 Miguel Sano (El Mayor Clasico, De Vitrina, start at :17): A little too scattered, kind of like Arcia’s song. Makes me want to do 37 things at once, not concentrate on the difference between a fastball and a slider.

9 Danny Santana (Levantate, Morzat La Para, start at :16): This song is upbeat and harmless, though a little bland.

8 Kurt Suzuki (Night Nurse, Gregory Isaacs, start at beginning): This comes down to personal preference since reggae is quite possibly my least favorite genre. Suzuki rebounds, though, since this 1982 track is a complete surprise. You could have given me 1 million years to predict what every Twins hitter would pick for their music this season and I don’t know if I would have gotten to Night Nurse.

7 Eduardo Nunez (Dame tu Whatsapp, El Karma, start at 1:07): This song has an urgency without scattering my attention. If they ever make a shot-for-shot remake of Run Lola Run, but in Spanish, I think this song could be on the soundtrack.

6 Trevor Plouffe (Down Foe My Thang, Bone Thugs-N-Harmony, start at :08): This is one of Bone Thugs’ most aggressive songs, and a solid choice by Plouffe.

5 Eduardo Escobar (La Noche De Los Dos, Daddy Yankee, start at :58): Much as he is at the plate as a hitter, Escobar is a sneaky entrant among the Twins’ best when it comes to walk-up music. If that song doesn’t make you feel upbeat, I don’t know what will.

4 Byung Ho Park (Boom, P.O.D., start at 2:43): I’m not saying this is my favorite song, but I will say it’s pretty much perfect for a power hitter. BOOM! Here comes the BOOM! This song will be better when Park isn’t striking out in half his plate appearances or getting pinch hit for as he was Monday.

3 Max Kepler (93 til Infinity, Souls of Mischief, start at 1:04): Whoa, talk about another surprise. I can only guess that Kepler — born in 1993, which is when this song came out, hence the name — likes not only the overall vibe but the shout-out to his birth year. Whatever the case: nicely done, Max. This is my favorite era of rap/hip-hop.

2 Byron Buxton (Flashlight, Parliament, start at beginning): Another young fella going old-school. Love it.

1 John Ryan Murphy (No Diggity, Blackstreet, start at :43): Perhaps the best part about the offseason trade of Aaron Hicks for Murphy is the young catcher’s song selection. No Diggity is simply one of the greatest songs of all time. And it also happens to be fantastic as walk-up music. Murphy, 24, was just a little kid when this song came out in 1996. I hope he has a long career with the Twins and keeps this song forever. I haven’t been as excited about a walk-up music choice since Corey Koskie was strolling up to Blur’s Song 2.

What I enjoy about all of this is that most players (perhaps even all of them) seem to take the process reasonably seriously. Fans always talk about what their at-bat music would be if they were in the majors. Having a song played just for you because you’re awesome at baseball is one of the coolest perks of a great job, and it’s good to see the Twins appreciate that.