Some things are easier to learn than others
I learnt that I really should not watch Liverpool play in my lounge. Sound travels in the Parks of Joburg, writes KevinMcCallum.
|||There has become a standard in some newspapers to print a list of “Five things we learnt” from a match or a weekend of sport.
These are five things that are a mix of the bleeding obvious to left field observations. For instance, after Liverpool had blown Everton away on Wednesday night, the Daily Mail said that Roberto Martinez was on the brink of being fired, which is like saying the arms deal report findings read like a story written by The Onion, the American satirical site.
I learn loads of things, all the time. Some of them I learn without even having to think about them twice.
This weekend, for instance, I learnt, again, that Elton Jantjies is the Springbok flyhalf in waiting. One person whined to me he isn’t international class because he missed tackles. He has missed 18 of 58 tackles this season, yet, as The Star’s rugby writer Jacques van der Westhuyzen pointed out on Thursday, the Lions also lead Super Rugby in the category “defenders beaten”.
It’s a lot more satisfying to praise attack than defence.
Last week I learnt that I really should not watch Liverpool play in my lounge. Sound travels in the Parks of Joburg. My wife has said she has heard me curse very badly when she was at the bottom of our rather big garden. On Thursday she went to bed early, before the Dortmund match, making me promise to keep my voice down. I lasted those two early goals.
One gentle “f**k this”. At the end, when the final goal was headed in, I gave a strangled, stifled scream, almost a death-rattle gurgle. I have learnt that I really should go to the Jolly to watch Liverpool.
They don’t mind my sort of behaviour there.
On Wednesday, I learnt that Daniel Sturridge is, as all good strikers should be, hungry for goals. He half tried to claim Phil Coutinho’s goal for himself, putting his hand in the air in celebration and almost beginning a run towards the left corner flag, while the rest of his team ran after the Brazilian.
Replays suggested Coutinho’s shot may have just nicked Sturridge’s backside before going into the corner, but arsey goals should never be claimed.I learnt that Mamadou Sakho is my new football hero. He runs like his limbs are struggling to keep up with his head, he looks confused when shaping for a pass, and yet his successful pass percentage is among the best in the league. His legs and body get to where his sharp football brain anticipate they need to be on defence and, in the last two games, on attack. I learnt that Sakho’s post-goal hugs with Kolo Toure on Wednesday was one of the most honest post-goal celebrations you are likely to see.I wonder what I will learn this weekend?
The Star