Новости за 21.06.2017

Donald

From the Gaelic name Domhnall, which meant, until recently, “ruler of the world.” It now means “orange-faced pussy grabber who lost the popular vote by three million.” The name “Donald” has traditionally been very popular, but now you’d be better off naming your baby “Adolf.” Notable Donalds include Trump, and his intellectual superior, Duck.

Ivanka

This name previously meant "God is Gracious.” It now means “God Seriously Can Not Believe What the Fuck is Going On in... Читать дальше...

Recall number:
PS-3503

To our valued customers,

At Simon & Schuster, we deliver breakthrough literature that enriches people’s lives. An important aspect of our mission is to offer writing that excels in quality and safety. For decades, we fell short of this promise by neglecting the safety of young readers through our inattention to various similes in the classic dystopian novel Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury.

The figures of speech in question (see below) have been... Читать дальше...

Well, that thing that we were anticipating might happen did happen, and boy did it happen. Never again will the country be the same. The status quo before this happened is no longer the status quo. It is the past. And the past is part of history. It was a historic day.

Adynaton

A contagious skin condition covering the body in a matter of seconds, spreading to all of humanity in a matter of minutes, and ending life as we know it on this planet by the end of the day.

Anaphora

A little-known form of Tourette’s Syndrome in which the patient, while in the throes of fornication, repeatedly exclaims an incorrect name (87% of cases reported yelling out “Oh, Ana!”).

Assonance

Please see Dr. Rory Applebaum’s exhaustive volume, All Things Unpleasant... Читать дальше...