Harriette Cole: I’m feeling uneasy about how my child is growing up
How can I establish rules before it's too late?
DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been feeling uneasy for quite some time now. I am the mother of an almost-4-year-old little girl. Toddlers grow up at the speed of light, as they say.
My child is becoming more and more inquisitive these days, and I can’t help but worry that in a few short years, she will have to make her own decisions.
Despite thinking that I’m a good mother and having solid support from my loving husband, I can’t help but wonder if my behavior truly models the ideals I want my child to grow up with.
As a successful working woman, could you kindly share any essential knowledge or experiences you have gained along your journey that you think are crucial to help me process and establish rules for my child?
— Mom Advice
DEAR MOM ADVICE: Relax. You will not do everything right, but you will do your best. While the months and years may seem to fly, life actually proceeds one day at a time.
Your job as a mother is to teach your child how to be strong, kind, thoughtful, resourceful and a functioning member of your community. Show her how to live based on the choices that you make. Teach her to rely on herself as she grows up so that she values independence. At the same time, teach her how to engage with others in a respectful and effective way.
I have always worked. When my daughter was very young, I took her with me everywhere that I could.
Since I was not able to be a stay-at-home mom, I chose to expose my daughter to the world of possibilities before her by showing her my life and the lives of my friends. I wanted her to know that a woman can do anything.
You should decide what you want your child to know, and then make sure she sees that so she can believe it.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been noticing that people often label me as curious, and I have to admit, it’s starting to feel accurate.
Lately, I’ve been spending a lot of time contemplating the various issues that our world is grappling with. That’s why I find your perspective on pressing social and political matters so intriguing.
If you possessed the ability to tackle one specific issue, which one would you choose? The world faces numerous challenges, such as climate change, inequality, poverty, conflicts and the erosion of democratic values. I’m curious to know which issue resonates with you and why.
I’d appreciate it if you could share some thoughts in addressing it. Your insights, given your expertise, could inspire action and contribute to positive change.
— Pick a Cause
DEAR PICK A CAUSE: Great question. I have actually selected a charity, Prasad.org, that addresses more than one of the world’s big challenges so I don’t have to pick one thing.
The work focuses on families and children in several parts of the world and works with them on nutrition, health, financial stability and community building.
I recommend that you research charitable organizations to find one that resonates with your interests. There are so many organizations doing great work to support communities and people that you are sure to find something that aligns with your core values.
You can also choose to align yourself with more than one organization, dividing your resources and time between causes that you believe are worthy of your consideration.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.