Harriette Cole: Should I trade my unstable life for this daring opportunity?
Or would that just make things worse for me?
DEAR HARRIETTE: I find myself at a crossroads. I’m 29, and I recently lost my job at a finance company. The uncertainty of the future is overwhelming.
An opportunity has recently presented itself to teach abroad in Tokyo. The idea of moving to a different country with a new culture and to teach abroad is exciting. Japan has always been a place I’ve dreamt of visiting, and this seems like the perfect opportunity to not only explore a new country, but also gain valuable life experiences.
On the other hand, I can’t get rid of the fear of the unknown. The stability of a job and the familiar surroundings I’ve known are slipping away, and the idea of moving to a foreign country adds an extra layer of uncertainty.
I’m torn between the desire for adventure and the comfort of familiarity.
Should I take this leap and teach abroad in Japan, embracing the chance for personal and professional growth, or should I focus on finding a new job in my home country to maintain a sense of stability?
— New Adventure
DEAR NEW ADVENTURE: I know many people who have moved abroad for a few years and expanded their horizons. In several instances, it was for the same reason: a job loss followed by an opportunity.
If you do not have responsibilities and ties holding you back, why not go for it? It doesn’t have to be a forever move. You can gain experience, meet new people and expand your horizons.
There is nothing like traveling to help you understand the world and humanity better. Consider this a gift, and treat it as such. Cherish it. Go there with the intention of doing a great job as you also meet people and learn about the culture.
Do as much research as you can to learn about where you will be and what the lifestyle is like. Inquire among your friends to see who has been there and what advice and ideas they may have. If they have friends or associates there, ask them to connect you.
Trade your fear for the belief that this will be a meaningful chapter in your life. Go there with that intention, and see how life unfolds.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a thought about your response to “Establishing Boundaries,” the letter writer whose cousin asked for advice, then never took it.
When Establishing Boundaries is on the receiving end of their cousin’s tales of woe, they could just listen. When the woe-teller finishes, they could ask them what they are going to do about it.
— Keep It Simple
DEAR KEEP IT SIMPLE: I love that answer for the first time, or maybe even the first few times. But many friends and family are like broken records and replay their sob stories for anyone who will listen to them.
Maybe in that instance, Establishing Boundaries can ask when they are going to do what they’ve been threatening to do!
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.