Miss Manners: Should I have told him that his fancy food was awful?
DEAR MISS MANNERS: A restaurant outside of town, which was known for pizza and wine, has reworked its menu and changed it to pricey steaks and fine dining-type items. We went to try it out, and it was absolutely awful.
Prices had shot up sky-high, though the interior remained unchanged from when it was a pizza place.
I would have been more than happy with an expensive-but-great steak, but it was the worst steak I have ever eaten. Before you go thinking I am just spoiled or dramatic, my jaw was too sore to finish it (I had ordered a 4-ounce filet mignon). While no one else’s meat was as tough as mine, the consensus from our group of six was that the food was bad.
We previously frequented this place, but now no one wants to go again unless they change it back to pizza. (Unlikely, as the restaurant had the pizza oven removed as part of the redo.) Also, this is not an area where people would expect fancy food: It is an agricultural community 15 minutes outside of a small city.
Anyway, the owner of the restaurant, whom we have met several times, came by to ask how the food was. I was too embarrassed and flummoxed to tell him the truth — not even a very kindly worded attempt.
Being honest would have sounded so negative and rude, but isn’t it also wrong to lie to someone whose business is on the line? If I were that restaurant owner, I would probably want someone to be honest with me. Did I use bad manners?
GENTLE READER: Bad manners would have been spitting out the jaw-tiring meat and telling the owner it was horrid. Polite, but honest, feedback would have been, “Well, we miss the old pizza place, but we wish you success with your new endeavor.”
Miss Manners would hesitate to add, “… and in finding a meat tenderizer.”
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have been diagnosed with a (quite likely) terminal illness. I am continuing to work, as it isn’t yet debilitating. However, I must take time off work for tests, treatments and other medical appointments.
I notified management, as they noticed I was using a lot of PTO. Well, one manager told another, who told another, who told a team I work on. … Everyone seems to know now.
It is uncomfortable being treated like I’m fragile. I get asked, “When are you going out on permanent disability?” or “Have you tried nutrition and herbs?” and similar questions.
When I respond along the lines of, “Thank you, but that’s not related to our work. Can we get back to the scheduled discussion?” that shuts it down, but I’m still angry and hurt. Can you suggest something else to say or do?
GENTLE READER: Perhaps add, “I assure you that when I am unable to perform my duties, I will let you know. Until then, let’s please all go about our work.”
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.