Harriette Cole: I got scammed out of a lot of money, and I don’t know how to tell my husband
No matter what I do, our marriage is bound to suffer.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been scammed out of a large amount of money from our savings, and I am unsure of how to tell my husband.
This loss has left me feeling overwhelmed and ashamed, as I know that our savings were meant for our future security and the well-being of our daughter. I am struggling with the thought of admitting my mistake and the impact it will have on our financial stability and trust within our relationship.
How can I communicate the situation honestly and take responsibility for my actions while also seeking support and understanding from him?
I fear his reaction and the consequences of my deception, but I know that honesty is crucial in rebuilding trust and moving forward.
— Scammed
DEAR SCAMMED: The world of deceit is big, and sadly, many people are getting scammed without realizing it. Yes, this is embarrassing, but you must tell your husband right away.
Apologize for putting the two of you in this horrible position. Be prepared to share all of the details of what happened and where things stand now.
Yes, he will be angry and disappointed. But after he calms down, you two need to make a plan together for rebuilding your savings.
DEAR HARRIETTE: My gaming addiction has led me to spend excessive amounts of time on my game, causing me to neglect my husband and become easily angered with my child.
I recognize that my behavior is hurting those I love, and I am desperate to find a way to overcome this addiction and repair the damage it has caused.
I feel consumed by the need to play games, and it has become a coping mechanism that only fuels my anger and frustration. I really want to break free from this addiction and rebuild my relationships with my family.
— Gaming Addiction
DEAR GAMING ADDICTION: What surprises many people is that gaming addicts are not just teenagers.
Many adults, like you, find themselves caught in the clutches of gaming. Additionally, the pandemic only made it worse for countless people.
The good news is that you can wrestle this demon. Just like any other addiction, though, it takes a huge amount of self-discipline.
It all starts where you are now, by admitting you have a problem. Sit down with your husband. Tell him that you realize what your addiction is doing to the family, and you want to change.
Consider going cold turkey or limiting your hours of engagement. Schedule family time, and show up for whatever you have planned.
Get help. You can go to a therapist who specializes in these addictions to help you develop strategies for weaning yourself off of the games. You can also join Gaming Addicts Anonymous. Yes, this organization exists to help people just like you. It welcomes anyone who wants to be free of the addiction, and members support each other without judgment. To learn more, go to: gamingaddictsanonymous.org.
For anyone who may be wondering if you are a video game addict, take this self-test to figure it out: gamingaddictsanonymous.org/self-test-for-video-gaming-addiction.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.