My brother sexually abused me as a kid but he’s still mum’s favourite child

DEAR DEIDRE: MY brother sexually abused me as a kid and now he has got in trouble with the police. Yet he is still my mum’s No1 child.

I’m a married woman of 35. My brother is 44. He abused me from the age of seven until I was 11.

I’ve had lots of therapy and finally plucked up the courage to tell my mother three years ago.

I’d been feeling suicidal and was self-harming.

My mother saw my scars one day. I told her it was to cope with emotional pain and she said: “What emotional pain do you have? You’re being ridiculous.”

I then told her and she said we should keep it between ourselves.

My brother can’t hold down a job and now his marriage has broken down.

Mum phoned me last week telling me that he’d been done for selling class-A drugs.

He’s moved back in with her and she’s told me and my younger brother that we must support him and not judge him.

It makes me sick. I can’t even bear to be in the same room as him.

Why does Mum see him as the blue-eyed boy? He’s bad news on every count.

DEIDRE SAYS: I’m sorry to hear what you have been through. It is understandable that you don’t want to be near your brother, or support him, and you don’t have to.

Find a moment to tell your mother that you have your own issues to deal with and it’s unfair for her to expect you to forget about the abuse.

If she can’t understand, you may be better off distancing yourself from them both, at least until you feel stronger.

Stand Alone (standalone.org.uk) will help you. It supports people of all ages who become estranged or disowned from their family.

It is now time for you to look after yourself.

My support pack Abused As A Child will show you where to get the help you need and deserve.