I was trolled for being a plus-size bride – they called me ‘disgusting’ but fat people deserve love too
PLANNING a wedding is stressful no matter the circumstances, but throw in the cruelty of online trolls, and you risk a nightmare scenario.
One bride didn’t let hate ruin her magical day, or her enjoyment of her incredible custom gown.
Louisiana-based performer Jade Bronte is a comedian and burlesque artist who married her husband Daniel in January.
The couple approached their entire wedding with a mindset of inclusivity and love, including their community in every possible way.
Speaking exclusively to The U.S. Sun, Jade said, “Our wedding day was everything I could have imagined.”
The couple treasured their self-written ceremony, a fire-eating “flower girl,” and an iconic venue, The All Ways (a legendary New Orleans cabaret).
To top it off, both Jade and Daniel wore formalwear that invoked the cosmos. Jade’s dress was the Celestial gown from designer Chotronette.
Unfortunately, Jade wasn’t shocked when the photos were also met with backlash.
When Chotronette’s Facebook account shared the photos, trolls left cruel comments on the brand’s post.
They ranged from unwarranted and hurtful statements about Jade’s appearance to anger over the entire body-positivity movement.
One commenter referred to the cinematic photos as “Disgusting,” and doubled down despite a dozen comments defending the joyful couple.
“Initially I was painfully unsurprised because this is what it is to choose to exist freely in a fat body,” Jade said.
It didn’t occur to the trolls that she was simply enjoying her wedding. “Everything you do is perceived as a charged action, a statement,” she added.
As a fat person, and especially as a fat performer, Jade said she’s already familiar with the grim reality of fatphobia, online and in person.
“A fat body doesn’t get to just be a bride or a dancer or someone in love,” she said. “No, I am a fat bride, a fat dancer. I am fat first.”
But Jade didn’t allow the trolls to detract from the magic of the day, which was customized for them from start to finish.
Jade and Daniel felt and looked beautiful in their custom wedding wear.
Jade said they spent the day “as our most glamorous and authentic selves without masking or fear.”
She felt especially lucky that her starry bridal fashion dreams could become a reality.
“I had a dream dress in mind from the very beginning, but I was aware that there would be challenges as a plus-size bride,” Jade said.
She wanted a “high-fantasy” gown and knew that finding the dress of her dreams in her size would likely mean having it custom-made.
“Do you remember when Drew Barrymore enters the ball in Ever After?” Jade asked. “That was the moment that I wanted!”
No matter where she shopped, she was drawn back to the dreamy design house Chotronette. At first, Jade wasn’t sure about the price.
But one important factor won her heart and her wallet.
“When I reached out and learned that all their dresses were made to measure with inclusive sizing, I decided to take the plunge,” Jade said.
Dress shopping is one of the first pain points many plus-size brides encounter when planning a wedding.
Media often portrays saying “yes” to the dress as the happiest moment in a bride’s life, but not all brides have the same experience.
“There are many body types that simply do not have access to fast fashion,” Jade explained. “The majority of boutiques are limited in their range of plus-size dresses.”
“I wanted shopping for my wedding dress to be a memory I looked back on fondly,” she said.
So, she worked with a local seamstress to get her measurements, and Chotronette designed Jade’s dress to fit her body perfectly.
After the wedding, Jade’s photos were met with awe and well-warranted envy.
Most of the Chotronette’s followers were just as wonderstruck as Jade and Daniel’s loved ones were and poured out their support.
“Beautiful pictures for beautiful people,” wrote one commenter.
“So gorgeous,” another admirer said. “You look so HAPPY it makes me smile!”
Several also thanked the brand for showing the Celestial dress on a plus-size body, as it aided their own wedding dress shopping.
When the troll comments hurt her feelings, Jade had plenty of in-person comfort, too.
Just like on the wedding day itself, Jade was surrounded by a community that supported her during the “incredibly painful” storm of hate.
“My loved ones are incredible at reminding me who I am when I struggle to remember myself,” she said.
Jade added that her household has recently instituted a “don’t read the comments” rule in response to online fatphobia.
But more importantly, she said, the strength of the love she shares with her husband and her broader community is more lasting, and meaningful, than the criticism.
“I’m not gaining anything from other people’s disregard or disgust for my body,” she said.
And while the hatred hurt, it didn’t undo the love she and Daniel celebrated.
“I’m certainly not going to undermine the huge and unwavering love of my family with the opinions of strangers,” she said.
Jade also said that she made a conscious decision to allow Chotronette to share her photos on their Facebook page.
While she was dress shopping, Jade was frustrated to learn just how difficult it was to find photos of plus-size dresses “in real life.”
“The examples were few and far between,” Jade said.
“I wanted to continue to add to the portfolio of body diversity on their page to encourage other brides that look like me to just get the dress.”
Fat brides are often pressured into shrinking themselves down for their wedding days, or subject to an impossible double-standard, Jade pointed out.
“It’s common to see brides being encouraged to be opulent and indulgent on their wedding day,” she added.
“But for fat people in a society that really moralizes bodies, indulgence is often viewed and criticized as a character flaw.”
The Chotronette Facebook account didn’t respond to the trolls, but Jade said many of the cruel comments have since been removed.
Now, Jade is happily married, and she has hope that the wedding industry will continue to make room for real people and relationships.
“I wish that I found more representation of love that looks like mine: non-monogamous, queer, and, yes, fat,” she said.
In many ways, the bridal industry failed Jade and Daniel from the moment they got engaged.
Very few of the resources the couple consulted while wedding planning represented themselves, their family, or their dream day.
“I wanted to be able to imagine myself in the experiences that were being marketed to me as soon as the algorithm caught on,” she said.
Even though it was a long road to get there, Jade looks back on her wedding photos with nothing but love.
She’s grateful that she didn’t “suspend her joy” until reaching a weight that society found acceptable.
“People who look like me and love like me do find their own love stories,” she said.
“They should have the freedom to feel gratitude for the specifics of their love,” Jade said, “not be confined to an expectation that they should be grateful to be loved at all.”
Like any good love story, Jade’s wedding journey ends with a vow – this time, to herself.
“The only commitment I have to my body in the future is to love it,” Jade promised.