I fell out with my mother-in-law over a cruise and she refuses to make up and see the children

DEAR DEIDRE: I FELL out with my mother-in-law when she booked to go on a cruise after promising she’d help with my children when I had an operation.

Since then I’ve tried to repair the relationship by inviting her to parties, days out, and so on, but it all falls on deaf ears – she completely blanks me.

I have been trying to put the effort in so she can still be a part of her son and grandchildren’s lives, but she refuses to have anything to do with any of us.

I’m 39 and my husband is 41. She is 65.

My children wouldn’t recognise her in the street now. I fear the more absent she is, the less they will want to know about her.

My husband used to defend his mum’s actions, but now he’s realised what she’s like.

We’ve tried so hard, but haven’t had anything back from her.

I don’t know what else to do.

DEIDRE SAYS: I understand your frustration with your mother-in-law and unfortunately family rifts normally lead to more unhappiness over the years.

Could you write to her and say you feel your husband and children are all missing out because of your disagreement.

Ask her to put your differences aside for the sake of them.

Over time, it’s possible that things may change. This problem is more about her than it is about you.

In the meantime, focus on your relationship.

I hope she comes round and realises how wrong she is in taking this stance.