I feel guilty for not letting my dad know how much he meant to me before he died

DEAR DEIDRE: I AM traumatised by the last time I saw my dad.

I didn’t expect him to die, so I never said goodbye.

I am a 32-year-old guy and my dad died last year, aged 60.

He was divorced from my mum and lived abroad, so we didn’t meet often, although we did keep in touch by phone and message.

After we last met the pandemic struck, so I wasn’t able to visit for years.

I was planning to go last summer, but then I was told he’d passed away.

At our last meeting, I had no idea he was going to get ill.

I wish I could have told him I loved him, or said something meaningful. Instead, I just said, “See you soon.”

I didn’t even give him a proper hug.

I really miss him and feel bad that I didn’t let him know how important he was to me.

DEIDRE SAYS:  Guilt is a common emotion to feel when you’re grieving. But you did nothing wrong.

Neither of you could have predicted his death, or that it would be the last time you’d see each other.

I’m sure he knew how much he meant to you.

My bereavement support pack will tell you more about what you go through when you’re grieving and has information to deal with this.

You may find it helpful to get some counselling. The charity sueryder.org offers six weeks of free help.