I’m a mum-of-two and I’ve cracked the secrets to parenting – give them screens and take them to the pub
It started off as a TikTok dance during lockdown and culminated in dinner at the Prime Minister’s country residence.
When Clara Batten posted a failed dance challenge to The Weeknd song Blinding Lights she had no idea that it would catapult her into fame.
The mum-of-two had all but given up her dream of becoming an actress when she started posting hilarious videos at the start of the pandemic.
She now has more than 11 million likes and over 480,000 followers on social media, has fulfilled her lifelong dream of starring in a movie and has just written a book about family life with husband Adam, 43, and kids Monty, five, and six-year-old Cressy.
Her funny, sometimes acerbic, TikTok clips have left fans in stitches as she documents the funny side of life, from ageing to boozing and overeating.
Along the way, Clara, 41, has picked up a slew of celebrity fans including Britain’s Got Talent star Amanda Holden, actor Simon Pegg and comedian Phill Jupitus.
One of her most surprising moments came when she was given a personal invitation to join ex-Prime Minister Boris Johnson and wife Carrie at Chequers five days before he left Number 10 in September last year.
Clara, who lives near Tunbridge Wells, said: “Adam couldn’t believe his ears when I told him but still checked his diary!”
She tells in her book how she and Adam suddenly feared they had fallen victim to cruel internet trolls after calling for a taxi to the Buckinghamshire estate from a nearby country pub.
Clara describes how she got flustered telling the cab operator she was going to the PM’s house for dinner, writing: “As I got off the phone, Adam was sitting in the armchair in the corner of the room, Cuba Libre in hand, shaking his head slowly.
“ He said ‘just listening to that conversation out loud, it does sound ridiculous. The going to Boris and Carrie’s for dinner part.
“I know you’ve messaged each other a few times, but you’ve not spoken to her on the phone, she has a private Instagram account which is not verified and she didn’t ask us to bring any ID to one of the most security-protected establishments in the world.
“Are you sure you’re not being trolled?’ ‘Well, when he said it like that …’
“ I started to doubt everything, but after a couple of stiff drinks we were well on our way to a dinner we blatantly weren’t invited to.”
Luckily, the invite was genuine, Clara and Adam took their passports just in case (which ended up necessary) – and the night was such a success the couple ended up staying overnight.
“Not like that! Nothing happened!” Clara quickly jokes.
“We stayed in the Winston Churchill room.”
Down-to-earth Clara, who has an infectious laugh, calls herself a ‘middle-class mummy’ and makes no apologies for who she is.
What you see on Tiktok is pretty much what you get in real life.
When we meet, she apologises straight away for wearing a Christmas jumper, emblazoned with a huge sparkly bauble – even though the offending emblem is covered with a joyful scarf.
Her eyes light up when talking about her adorable kids Cressy – who has just auditioned for a major movie role and loves starring in her mum’s clips – and less outgoing Monty, who is more camera shy and “would rather play with his monster trucks.”
Clara, who grew up with two brothers, said she always wanted to be a comic actress but, approaching 40, thought it was too late.
But when husband Adam showed her TikTok at the start of the pandemic she saw an opportunity and posted a funny attempt at The Weeknd dance challenge.
Gradually, Clara started to build a following, boosted by a glowing reference from Jeremy Clarkson in his Sun column.
Before she knew it the then PM’s wife Carrie had started following her on Instagram.
She was then asked to audition for the 2021 festive Sky movie A Christmas No 1, got signed by an acting agent, bagged a couple of adverts and was approached by Harper Collins to write a book.
At first she found the idea so preposterous that she laughed, but the result, Gin and Phonics: My journey through middle-class motherhood (via the occasional pub), is due out next week
Clara said: “I didn’t want it to be a moan about being a mum because I find parenting really rewarding. Once you become a mum you realise that if you can raise two little beings you can probably do anything.
“Also, that genre is a crowded market now. I wanted to keep things light and funny. I want people to read it and realise that we’re all alike really, no matter what our backgrounds and circumstances.”
Clara says writing the book was not without its difficulties, especially with two young kids, then aged three and four, running around at home.
In July 2021 she posted a tearful video announcing she was taking a break from social media after writing, rehearsing and caring for Cressy and Monty took its toll.
It was then Carrie Johnson reached out to send her a kind message, saying “we all need to take a break sometimes.”
But it was weeks before Clara spotted it while away on holiday.
She said: “I was having a few margaritas on the beach when I saw the message.
“I sent one back to apologise for not replying earlier – I mean who misses a note from the PM’s wife?!
“We exchanged a few more messages and Carrie told me Boris didn’t engage much with social media but thought I was very funny on Instagram.
“She wrote ‘we must meet up’ and having had a few drinks I said ‘well, we’re back on this date’ and before we knew it we were having dinner at Chequers.”
Clara, who is now co-writing a comedy script, says fans have, in the main, been supportive but she does get the odd rude troll, including one who described her hair as looking like shredded wheat during the pandemic.
She says: “My roots were huge but everyone had bad hair in lockdown.
“I just ignore the trolls. There’s not that many and they are usually men. Besides, it gives me good content.”
Clara says she’s now recognised in the street and revels in the freedom of being able to show her funny side.
She said: “When I was in my 20s trying to become an actress, the only real social media was Facebook and Friends reunited. I’d never have imagined I’d end up making a living on an app – and I’m loving it.
“It’s shown me that it’s really never too late to do what you want to do in life.”
We couldn’t agree more.
Clara’s views on parenting
On smacking: “I’m really against smacking children. I’ve been called a snowflake for this, but if that’s the case then bring on a blizzard.
“People often respond that they were smacked and turned out okay, but are they really? We tell our children not to get angry and not to hit other people, then they are left cowering in anticipation of being hit. It’s just not the right lesson is it?
On pub life: “We love going to the pub as a family. The key is to pick one with a playground and make sure your friends are there with kids the same age so they can all run off and play.
“It’s a great opportunity to have adult conversation while the kids get some fresh air and run off some steam before bedtime.
“We were driving back from Chessington theme park a few days ago and Monty asked me if we could go to the pub with ‘the good pizzas and the playground.’”
On serving up leftovers: “I love to cook. And one of my ‘things’ is to try and revive leftovers. My favourite is potatoes. Give them a bit of a fry and they taste just as amazing as the day before.”
On being overwhelmed: “Everyone gets stressed at some point. In summer 2021 I was really feeling bad with anxiety and took a break from social media.
“I found it really helped to just take a step back and breathe. It’s not easy but it’s sometimes good to just take a break from your phone.”
On mum guilt: The guilt is real. If I ever have to go away overnight I am filled with a feeling of guilt. I think it’s maternal because I don’t think you get much dad guilt.
“I think we have to trust our kids are okay a bit more. If they seem emotionally okay and happy then you’re doing it right. If their behaviour changes or they appear unhappy then maybe they need a bit more attention. We need to just stop feeling so guilty. We can be parents and work. It’s all about balance.”
On wine drinking: “Don’t drink white wine. Never.
“I have never met anyone who isn’t crazy after having one too many. You never feel hazy or think ‘how did I get home’ or ‘what happened?’ on spirits, do you?
“I don’t think red wine is the same because it’s not really a drinking session choice is it?
“I’m sticking to mainly gin or rum and coke.”
On kids’ screen time: “I’m not going to limit my children’s time on their tablets because sometimes you just need it.
“There’s a point where you say ‘stop playing with lego in case you eat it, just while I make dinner. Play on your tablet instead.’
“I think the more we tell our kids they can’t have screens the more they want them.”
Gin and Phonics: My journey through middle-class motherhood (via the occasional pub), published by Harper Colllins, will be available from April 27.
Excerpt from Clara's book
Trying to stay at home during school holidays can be a nightmare.
When I first had kids, I remember thinking the baby stage was boring. Are babies cute? Yes. Mainly because of their size, or their first smile or giggle. That’s it. Do they do anything but sleep, cry, eat and crap? No.
I was one of the few who almost wished away the baby phase. I couldn’t wait for the day we would communicate beyond me just talking at them in what I thought was a cute voice (but to others is cringeworthy) and them staring gormlessly back at me.
I had images of us baking cakes and laughing while getting flour in our hair, finger painting and giggling as we playfully put paint on each other’s noses … you get the idea.
Imagine my surprise when this day eventually came and turned out to be nothing like this fairy-tale description. Although I love cooking, I have never ‘baked’ anything in my life.
But that was surely part of the fun, right? Wrong. At the time, my kids were almost three and one and a half, which I now know is WAY too young for this type of activity. It started badly: Monty wanted to do exactly what his big sister was doing: cracking eggs. I thought I would let him – after all, they only learn by trying.
Then, I turned to have a quick glance at the recipe and grab the butter from the fridge. I hadn’t noticed that Monty’s eggy handiwork had turned the floor into a slip’n’slide of egg whites for my legs to enjoy and in my panic reached for the nearest thing, which happened to be Cressy’s arm.
I landed heavily on my coccyx, pulled Cressy down with me and we ended up in a tangle of limbs on the floor.
Monty sat giggling, eating melted chocolate from the bowl and surveying the damage that his nine broken eggs had created. ‘Who wants to go to the adventure park?’ I cried.