I’m a body language pro – Kate Middleton keeps kids in line with clever trick while Wills takes ‘Rubik’s Cube’ approach
KING Charles’ Coronation was one of Prince William and Kate Middleton’s biggest challenges yet as parents – but their adorable trio did them and the country proud.
Prince George, nine, Princess Charlotte, eight, and even cheeky five-year-old Prince Louis behaved impeccably throughout the three-day celebration – and at times stole the show.
So what’s the secret to the Prince and Princess of Wales‘ harmonious family unit?
Here body language expert Judi James reveals the clever tricks the couple use to keep their children in check…
WILLIAM, Kate and their children are now moving like one well-oiled team of five, with both parents stepping back and enjoying a more hands-off approach.
William is the royal strategist, with a ‘Rubik’s Cube’ approach to raising his heirs.
He has seen and experienced what doesn’t work, and he and Kate have applied what looks like a winning formula as a result.
On such a big occasion, the skills and techniques we saw on display showed how much they are getting right.
At formal events like the ceremony itself, we could see their use of non-verbal cues and tie-signs to communicate with their children, but also their ability to begin to step back now their eldest children are capable of stepping up and even ‘policing’ each other at major royal events.
‘Mini-me’
William and Kate now have a ‘mini-me’ in George and Charlotte.
Their subliminal mirroring of their parents suggest an element of hero-worship, in that they want to be like them.
Charlotte’s blend of elegance with moments of relaxed fun was pure Kate during the coronation, while George loves to dress and act like his father.
Both children are now also taking responsibility for looking out for each other, showing a sharing of keeping an eye on each other as well as their little brother.
Charlotte arrived at Westminster Abbey competently holding Louis’s hand, and led him during the procession before calmly peeling off to follow her parents to the pews without any cues needed.
During the service she was the one holding the order of service out to Louis to check he had his place, and during the concert it was Charlotte urging George to wave his flag – but also asking him about her bracelet before she got her mother to fix it for her.
One key word to describe the message that is growing from Kate and William’s parenting signals over the Coronation is trust.
The couple watched with a calm, quiet pride as George solemnly carried his grandfather King Charles’ train up the aisle of the Abbey.
Playful
Instead of inducing an air of ‘behave yourself or else’ dread during the weekend, Kate and William seemed to have been growing an air of positive anticipation in their children.
The images we were shown of Charlotte and Louis in the Wales’s own video show them open-mouthed in excitement.
When William and Kate were seen bending to talk to their children during the ceremony and the concert, it was usually to point out good, exciting things, rather than to correct them or keep them in line.
Louis in particular used signals of playful impatience on the Buckingham Palace balcony, revealing hints of how much this anticipation had been encouraged.
He drummed his hands on the balcony edge in a metronomic ritual of barely-suppressed excitement before turning to his brother when he caught a first glimpse of the fly-past.
William and Kate are growing a team with what looks like a mutual sense of responsibility.
Interestingly this allows them to act like children now and again.
Once the concert drew to a close and William could relax even more, he was seen teasing George and Charlotte by poking his flag over their faces like a big, naughty kid.
They responded with grown-up looks of disapproval, which looked like a brilliant flipping of adult-child roles that would have made the siblings feel even more grown-up.
Tactile
William and Kate still used regular touch rituals to check in with their children and offer small moments of reassurance and encouragement.
Kate could be seen keeping a very subtle eye on Louis during the ceremony, and offering him motivational ‘reward’ touches of affection when he did something right.
There were no signs from either parent of catastrophising or over-dramatising that would have built tension.
During the scouting event on Monday, William in particular showed how important and authentic these tactile displays are, happily using the digger while his children sat on his lap.
Role-modelling
Kate and William showed signals of confidence in their children – and that confidence more than paid off.
Their own body language was vital; they presented as calm, happy and tightly-bonded as a couple, and seemed to have suppressed any signals of anxiety or tension that might have been transferred to the children.
Children pick up on body language states and cues faster than adults, and will respond to them via their own behaviour.
William and Kate watched their children subtly and without fuss or signs of pre-emptive telling-off, allowing Charlotte and Louis in particular to enjoy themselves without catching any sense of tension.
Unusually for royals, William and Kate’s signals of ego, self-absorption and even self-pity are low to negligible.
Only Mike and Zara Tindall beat them in terms of looking like upbeat, cheerful parents.
Only Mike and Zara Tindall beat William and Kate in terms of looking like upbeat, cheerful parents
Judi James
William and Kate seem to have encouraged the same blend of signals of dignity and pride with teamwork and play in their children as they use in their own relationship.
All three children threw themselves into the scouting event on the final day with commitment and energy.
Louis and Charlotte’s signals of total absorption and determination with the archery was exactly how William and Kate throw themselves into anything sporty or competitive during their royal appearances.
Meanwhile Louis’s little dances of pure joy at the food on offer showed how much his spontaneous side is being encouraged.
William and Kate showed they clearly understand the need for all their children to learn to enjoy royal events rather than to dread them by seeing them as a chore, bore, or challenge to get through.
It’s a huge step up in terms of royal parenting, and the consistent signs the children were having fun and enjoying themselves is their reward.