I receive abusive texts from my drunk friend – I’m sick of being her doormat but I feel guilty

DEAR DEIDRE: MY friend sends me abusive text messages if I don’t answer the phone when she is drunk.

We are both 25 and used to live together when we were studying for our degrees.

Sadly, my friend dropped out in the second year after her dad died.

I don’t think she has ever got over it as she drinks heavily and often calls me on a weekday sounding wasted.

The conversations are quite one-sided and always at an ungodly hour so it has really put me off taking her calls.

If I don’t answer she spams me with texts accusing me of thinking I’m above her because I have a good job.

That’s not how I feel at all, and although she always apologises the next day, I’m not sure she won’t do it again.

I’m sick of being her doormat and a part of me just wants to block her, but I feel too guilty to abandon her when she’s vulnerable.

DEIDRE SAYS: Your friend sounds like she’s in a dark place, but that doesn’t give her the right to take it out on you.

I admire your loyalty to the friendship but if you don’t set boundaries with her I’m afraid the abusive behaviour may continue.

Find a moment to speak to her when she’s sober.

Tell her how concerned you are about her drinking.

You should read my support packs, Standing Up For Yourself and Drink Problem?.