My teenage daughter is giving me hell and has zero empathy for her little brother
DEAR DEIDRE: MY eldest daughter has turned from a sweet, loving girl into a selfish monster.
She shouts, swears and won’t tidy her room and I’m at the end of my rope.
I’m her mother and I’m 41. She’s 15.
I have a son of ten and he’s going through treatment for cancer so my daughter has had to stay over with my mum quite a lot.
Her grandma is 75 and she’s very gentle and quiet, so I know that my daughter doesn’t get any discipline when she stays there.
It’s been a gruelling few months but I think we are out the other side and my son is now home from hospital and we are back together as a family. For my daughter, though, it’s like a light has been switched.
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She shows no empathy for her little brother.
She’s nasty, she answers back and everything is about her, what she’s doing, her friends – with little consideration for anyone else.
I’ve tried to be fair. I give her money to do things with her friends and to buy a new top or a new pair of jeans but everything I do is met with nastiness and resentment.
I don’t know what to do with her.
DEIDRE SAYS: She could be crying out for attention but she could also be very frightened about what has been happening to her brother, even though it doesn’t seem like she cares.
If you can get some time to take her out – just the two of you – you will have a chance to really talk to her about how she’s feeling.
I recommend reading How To Talk So Teens Will Listen & Listen So Teens Will Talk, by Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish, available online or from your bookshop or library.
If she’d benefit from some counselling, suggest she contacts themix.org.uk (0808 808 4994), which will help anyone under 25.