Since my wife slipped her disc it’s been a sexless marriage
DEAR DEIDRE: SINCE getting married four years ago, I haven’t had sex with my wife.
I’m 57 and my wife is 60.
We’ve been together for 17 years, but we got married to ensure our finances were sorted out as we got older. We don’t have any children.
My wife has a slipped disc and sometimes she can barely walk because the pain is so bad.
She’s not well enough to work any longer, so had to resign from her job as a doctor’s receptionist.
We used to have sex years ago.
After she got injured I hoped she’d get better and our sex life would return, but she’s never well enough.
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She no longer touches me, but I kiss her when I go to work and sometimes we hold hands on the sofa. That’s it.
I’m sad that I won’t be able to make love to her again.
DEIDRE SAYS: That is sad but intimacy isn’t always about sex.
There are plenty of ways to enjoy being intimate together without intercourse.
She may not want to be tactile in case you think that it’s the green light for sex, but talk to her about what you can do to give one another pleasure.
Explain how much you miss it and see whether you can enjoy learning massage together.
My support pack Couples Massage explains more.
Your wife can find help through painconcern.org.uk (0300 123 0789).
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