Spoilt, sulky and unemployed is not a good look, Prince Andrew
RUMOUR has it that when Liberal PM David Lloyd George lost power to Winston Churchill, his fingers had to be prised from the door frame of Chequers.
The first ever Prime Minister to enjoy its grace and favour splendour, he reportedly assumed it had been gifted to him personally and it took a while to persuade him otherwise.
Fast forward 100 years and a similar scenario appears to be unfolding at Royal Lodge, Windsor, where a certain Prince Andrew of that parish is allegedly digging in his handmade leather heels and refusing to budge.
Which, considering it’s worth £30million, has a squillion rooms and just him and ex-wife Fergie live there, seems a touch unreasonable.
Particularly when his brother, the new King Charles, has promised a “slimmed-down monarchy” to a country in the grip of a cost of living crisis.
“He is so fragile,” says a source. “He’s refusing to see anybody. This has been his family home for the past 20 years. Is it really sensible to kick him out?”
If he faced life on the streets and relying on food banks, maybe not. But he’s reportedly been offered the not-so-sloppy seconds of the Sussexes’ former crib just up the road from where he lives now.
Recently refurbished to the tune of £2.4million, the misleadingly-named Frogmore “Cottage” has ten bedrooms, a yoga studio and an orangery. So hardly slumming it.
Compare and contrast his reported intransigence with the behaviour of Queen Elizabeth II’s dresser Angela Kelly, who, despite being dubbed “AK47” for her quick temper, obligingly moved out of her grace and favour home this week after 25 years of loyal service.
She was reportedly “overcome with emotion” as she packed up her possessions from the Windsor-based home and prepared to move to the Peak District, where King Charles has bought a house she can remain in until her death, when it will revert to the Crown.
Given that she was the Queen’s right-hand woman and confidante for so long, it can’t be easy to be turfed out so unceremoniously, particularly given the revelation that the locks on the former monarch’s apartment were changed immediately after her death so Ms Kelly couldn’t gain access.
Not a good look
Presumably they didn’t want another Paul Burrell scenario where he was charged with taking 310 personal items from the late Princess Diana’s apartment — but was later cleared when The Queen remembered he had told her he was simply removing them for safe keeping.
Ms Kelly vacated her grace and favour Windsor house with her head held high, and Prince Andrew must do his brother a favour and show the same grace.
After all, the recent scandal involving his dealings with disgraced financier Jeffrey Epstein means he is persona non grata when it comes to performing public duties, so he is no longer a “working royal” and therefore cannot expect special treatment.
The monarchy is an institution and has to be run like a business. It must also remain in step with the “subjects” it reigns over.
And right now, people are struggling to pay heating and food bills and having to cut their cloth accordingly.
So seeing a spoilt, unemployed prince being allowed to reside in a 30-room mansion is not a good look.
Reports suggest that officials have been dealing with his potential eviction and that Andrew feels wounded that his brother hasn’t discussed it with him face to face.
If that’s the case, then Charles should hop in his carriage and tootle over there for afternoon tea and a chinwag to sort it out.
And if that doesn’t work, I can recommend a good locksmith.
CAMPS ARE IN TENTS
PEOPLE who go camping are said to be generally happier than those who don’t.
But let’s be clear on the definition.
“Camping” does not mean staying in a luxury yurt, log cabin or three-bedroom static home with en-suites and a 40in telly.
Real camping (which finances dictated I did a lot of throughout my childhood), means an overused canvas tent with a tie front and baggy guy ropes, a mouldy tarpaulin base, a revolting communal shower block and, more often than not, a small boulder lodged in your back for the entire week-long stay.
Anything otherwise is glamping. Got it?
SUGAR STILL SWEET
LORD Sugar says he’s a good boss and has “never shouted” at his employees, but can be intimidating if necessary.
I’ll say. Years ago, I was due to interview him for a magazine and was granted a one-hour slot.
Just as I was about to leave, my daughter’s school called to say she was ill and I had to collect her.
I dropped her at my mother’s house but it delayed me and, having called ahead to warn his PA,
I finally arrived at Lord Sugar’s office in Brentwood, Essex, 45 minutes late.
“Don’t worry,” he reassured me. “Family comes first.”
Before then telling me that we’d better get on with it as I only had 15 minutes left of my allotted time slot.
But he gave me a better, no-holds-barred interview in those 15 minutes than many drearily uptight celebs give in an hour, so it worked out in the end.
OH JOE! ESSEX A DUD
JOEY Essex has moved to Dubai following a burglary at his Essex home last year.
He was given a warm welcome by government officials.
Mahmoud Al Burai, from the Dubai Land Department, said: “Welcome home, Joey Essex . . . we are looking forward to your contributions to our beautiful city.”
Bless. Will you tell them, or shall I?
Biden’s a for-lawn figure on campaign trail
OCTOGENARIAN US President Joe Biden is on the “hug a toddler” campaign trail after announcing he will run again in 2024.
Though judging by this child’s expression and a clenched fist of grass that suggests resistance to being lifted from the ground by a complete stranger, one imagines he faces an uphill battle.
VERN IS NOT 2 BAD
VERNON Kay took over from Ken Bruce on Radio 2 this week.
His appointment set the trolls off, with some suggesting he was too young for the job, even though he’s knocking 50.
But give him a chance. The first show was a little shaky but not too bad.
So, Vernon, two pieces of advice.
Hang on in there, because every time a replacement takes over from an old favourite there’s always an initial rumble of discontent that eventually dies away.
And secondly, stay off social media until it does.