I have lost my sex drive and now unhappy husband is threatening to walk out
DEAR DEIDRE: THE sexual chemistry was incredible when my husband and I got together 26 years ago.
In fact it was so strong, I worried that might be all there was to our relationship.
But recently our sex life has ground to a halt and he’s so unhappy he’s told me that if I don’t get my act together he’s going to find it elsewhere.
I’m 51 and he’s 50. He even told me if that means leaving me and starting a new relationship, he’s prepared to do it.
He says he’s fed up with being sexually frustrated and refuses to spend the rest of his life with someone who isn’t interested in the physical side of a relationship.
No matter how much I explain that I still love him but I just don’t feel like sex, he still says he feels rejected.
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Over the last couple of years I haven’t felt like myself.
I’ve felt tired most of the time and my libido has completely disappeared.
I know you’ll say I’m probably menopausal and should visit my doctor but I’ve already done that and been prescribed Hormone Replacement Therapy.
I’m not falling asleep in the afternoon like before, but still feel lethargic and my sex drive is non-existent.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Many women going through the menopause experience a dip in their libido – just as you are.
Please go back to your doctor and report how you are feeling. Let them know there has been no change to your libido and ask them to look at your HRT medication.
HRT isn’t a one-size-fits-all treatment and there are different hormones and strengths that can be prescribed as a woman’s own hormones reduce during menopause.
Testosterone, for example, can also be prescribed to women who experience a loss of sex drive.
Talk to your husband and ask him for his support.
Explain to him that his threats won’t help the situation but will simply cause a bigger rift between you.
Tell him you haven’t been feeling great and are going back to your doctor.
You and your husband should read my Menopause support pack together.