My best friend wants me to cover up her seedy affair with my brother-in-law
DEAR DEIDRE: I’D do anything for my best friend but her recent requests for me to cover for her while she conducts her affair with my brother-in-law have gone too far.
She says it’s my fault as I introduced them and I know when anyone finds out, I’ll be in trouble too.
I’m a woman of 45 and my best friend is 43. She’s married and lives in my village.
We met years ago when we started going to boot training together.
My husband is 47 and his younger brother is 40 and married.
My brother-in-law and his wife came to a BBQ we had last year.
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But she had to go home because she felt unwell and my best mate’s husband was away working, so my brother-in-law and friend got chatting.
She came round the following day, gushing about what a gorgeous man he was.
She asked for his number so she could send him some information about a car she was selling.
I didn’t see any harm in it until months later I spotted them kissing in her car in a lay-by.
I knew it was her from the personalised numberplate and turned my car around to see who she was with. It was not her husband.
I confronted her and she told me that she’s in love with him.
She says she’s going to leave her husband as soon as my brother-in-law leaves his wife.
She keeps asking me to lie for her and help cover her tracks when I know she’s off with my brother-in-law, probably in some seedy hotel.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Friends are there for each other through thick and thin, but she expects you to risk your relationships for the sake of her affair.
Arrange to catch up with her and explain she’s putting you in a very difficult situation but you value her friendship too much to simply sit back and watch the mess unfold.
She’s playing with fire and if she’s not happy with her husband, advise her to take a break from your brother-in-law and sort out what is going wrong for them.
If they were to get some couple’s counselling, it doesn’t necessarily mean the counsellor will drive them to stay together.
If their relationship is over, it will help them to separate.
My support pack Standing Up For Yourself will help clarify your position, and contains counselling services.