When my mother had a massive stroke, you helped me find the strength to carry on

DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN my mother had a massive stroke at just 58, leaving her in a vegetative state, I was devastated.

Although she was still alive, she was paralysed and unable to communicate.

I’m her 30-year-old son.

I didn’t know how to cope – it felt so cruel and unfair.

I was grieving her loss, but she wasn’t actually dead.

I wrote asking how to manage my emotions and the practical issues my family faced. 

I was particularly anxious about how to explain Granny’s condition to my six-year-old daughter.

You advised me to contact Different Strokes, (differentstrokes.co.uk, 01908 317 618 or 0345 130 7172) who offer support to younger stroke victims.

You also recommended Winston’s Wish (winstonswish.org, 08088 020 021), who help bereaved children, for advice on how to talk to my daughter. 

Thank you. Your response gave me the strength to carry on.

Against the odds, my mother is slowly recovering. She won’t ever  be the same, but at least we haven’t lost her.

DEIDRE SAYS: When someone is stuck in a state between life and death, it’s incredibly hard for loved ones to grieve, as there’s still hope.

I’m relieved to hear that your mother’s condition has improved and pray that continues.