Mum of my child led me on with sex and then ditched me – Father’s Day is ruined
DEAR DEIDRE: THE mother of my child has been stringing me along.
Despite splitting up six months ago, we were still having sex and enjoying family days out. I hoped we’d get back together.
But she decided the run-up to Father’s Day was the ideal time to tell me she’s started seeing someone else. I’m gutted.
I’m 30 and my ex is 26. We have a beautiful three-year-old daughter.
I moved out to my mum’s because we were rowing non-stop about a big contract I’d taken on at work.
My ex wasn’t keen as it meant longer hours and even accused me of putting my work before my family.
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Unfortunately, our bickering became the norm.
When we agreed to split, the only thing that changed was where I slept. Even then, sometimes my ex would let me stay over on the couch — or in our bed.
Even when we were arguing, we still had the same intense chemistry. I was going to ask my ex if we could officially get back together.
We had planned to take our daughter for a meal, but after ignoring my calls I got a text saying she couldn’t make it and I should spend the day with our daughter.
When I quizzed her she said she had plans and urged me to get used to the idea of spending time with our daughter alone.
She said was seeing someone else, which sparked a blazing row. Father’s Day is now a write-off.
I’m distraught. I really thought we would get back together and I can’t believe she led me on like this.
She’s been so affectionate towards me that I really thought there was hope for us.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: I’m sorry that you didn’t see this coming.
If your ex is adamant she wants to see other people, then I’m sorry but you can’t stop her.
You can, of course, make one last ditch attempt to reconcile. Write to her and tell her how much you love her and want to start again – properly.
Let her know you need to improve the communication between you and suggest you go for couples counselling.
Tavistock Relationships (tavistockrelationships.org) can help connect you with a reputable counsellor.
Hopefully your ex will see you are serious and committed.
But please, if she refuses, you would be best off accepting her decision and putting your efforts into your daughter.
Father’s Day is about dad/child relationships.
You have a precious daughter so make sure you put your love and energy into her.