I’m struggling to tell my boyfriend about the abortion I had before we met
DEAR DEIDRE: I AM really struggling to tell my partner I had a termination many years ago.
I find it difficult to express my feelings and I can’t begin to know how to explain this to him.
It is killing me not being able to tell him the truth.
I believe in honesty in relationships.
I love my partner so much and I’m worried that I could lose him over something that happened years ago.
I’m 27 and my boyfriend’s 29.
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We’ve been together for almost a year and have a great relationship.
I had a termination when I was a 19-year-old university student as knew I wasn’t ready to have a baby at that time.
Recently my new partner and I talked about the future and he said he’d like to settle down one day and have a family.
I froze as I feel like I’m being dishonest by not sharing that I had a termination.
READ MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Your past is your own. You get to choose who, when and how you share it.
You fear losing him but honesty is clearly very important to you and withholding this information is unsettling you.
If you want to tell your partner, now sounds like a good time as he’s beginning to talk about the future.
It’s perfectly reasonable to explain you have something very personal that you have been trying to find the right moment to share.
Explain your real fears that he will leave you.
My support pack on Termination will help you.