Date Everything will make you see your favorite household objects in a sexy new light

Date Everything! isn't the dating sim it appears to be. Though the game's cutesy art style and lighthearted premise indicate an unserious game that's making yet another joke at the expense of the genre, Date Everything actually contains novel explorations of human relationships and sharp-as-shit political critique.

Date Everything (the title technically includes an exclamation point) is a game where you, with the help of special glasses called "dateviators," can turn everyday household objects into potential romantic partners. Every in-game day you're given five opportunities to find new and talk to already discovered characters called dateables. As you interact with them, the things you say and do influence their feelings for you. Winning a dateable's love, hate, or friendship will also increase the level of one of your personality traits - smarts, poise, empathy, charm, and sass - which unlocks more advanced dialogue responses. Say the right thing, and Dorian (your door, voiced by Ben Starr) will be your best friend boosting your poise. Say the wrong thing and your toilet Jean-Loo Pissoir (Max Mittelman) will swear eternal enmity, boosting your sassiness.

Date Everything is y …

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