We’re probably fucked either way, so why not get fucked on the way!

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Note: due to the government's crackdown on drugs, none of our drinks are served on ice.

Malcolm Turnbull's "Mr Harbourside Mansion Iced Tea"

As the old saying goes: Malcolm Turnbull has a lot of money. So why not celebrate the PM "living within his means" by making a classic take on the ol' long island iced tea.

Method: In a tall glass, add the most expensive brands of vodka, white rum, tequila, gin, and triple sec you can find. Top with a pricey bottle of organic cola, and add lemon to garnish.

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Bill Shorten's "Zinger"

Bill Shorten is king of the zinger. And no, we're not talking about the delicious KFC burger, we're talking about a well-crafted, overly-scripted dig at his opposition, so we decided to make something short-n-zingy! Get it? His last name is Shorten... and it's a short drink... Ahh, you can't win 'em all.

Method: Fill two thirds of a shot glass with bourbon and top that with some limoncello. Using the rind of a lemon, rim the shot glass to get an extra citrusy zing!

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