Turkish Barber Sadist

I went to the Turkish barber shop in Malvern yesterday. I'm sat there having my hair trimmed and notice the geezer sat in the chair next to me was sat there with cotton wool buds stuck up his nose and on his ears. He looked a right plonker to be honest. How much for the cotton stuff up your nose I ask the barber. Extra £5 he says. Yeah, I'll have some of that. WTF was I thinking? I'm sat there chewing gum with 2 cotton wool buds stuck up my nostrils and 2 cotton wool buds stuck to my ears. I can hardly breathe! The barber is walking around smiling. He's a happy chap I thought. Then he pulls the cotton bud out of my nose. I shouted 'feckin hell'. Then he showed me the end of the buds. All my internal nose hair was on the bud. The pain was excruciating. Now the top of my nose is full of snot as the dust particles you breathe in have bypassed the end of my nose and are stuck up the top and I can't get a finger up there to pick the snot.

I even tipped him a quid for the pleasure. What kind of idiot am I?