Re: Stupid things you've done
Stuck a couple of 20s on each side, lifted the bar off the rack, dropped down to squat and on the first rep I felt my ass twinge and this hot injection exit my ass. Unsure what had happened at this point I thought i better sort myself out.
I bust another few half squats to style it out and put the bar back. Walked into the toilet wacked my shorts down to see the damage and empty my bowel, i bent over about to sit on the loo, at this point I felt my stomach decompress and farted so loud and wet the bloke who had since came in to take a piss in the urinals was giggling to himself. I turned around and I had basically frosted the entire back of the ceramic and the wall. It looked like a sniper assassination had taken place.
The smell was enough to stop a charging rhino, it was like putrid egg. I'm still cracking the odd fart off at this point as my stomach is making all kinds of curdling noises, bent over with my shorts round my ankles, shit up the wall, clenching my cheeks with maximum effort trying to be as quiet as possible. I then heard someone else come in and immediately complained that it smelled like something had its throat cut.
At this point The guy 2 foot away from my cubicle at the urinals has fully burst out into laughter to himself at the sound of my farts bellowing, he must have been wondering what the feck was going on in there.
Needless to say I wiped myself down, cleaned up as best I could and fecked off home; it still looked like a half finished curry plate.
Leg day no longer coincides with a bad stomach.